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BlogWithIntegrity.com

Hands Across the Sand in North Wildwood, New Jersey

Hands Across the Sand is a movement with a simple message: NO to offshore oil drilling, YES to clean energy. In the literal wake of the Deepwater Horizon disaster in the Gulf of Mexico, there seems no better time to join hands at the waters' edge in solidarity with others who wish to protect the world's oceans.

I am spending a few weeks with my family at the New Jersey shore. Knowing a Hands Across the Sand event was planned for yesterday, my eldest son and protest buddy came with me in search of a gathering. We had to do a bit of searching – knowing only cross streets and that we would be looking for some unknown number gathering at 11 a.m. and holding hands beginning at noon (local time) the world over. We has just about given up when we saw this:

It looked like perhaps six or seven people off in the distance but we ran toward them and as we got closer, they looked like this:

And when we reached them, they looked like this:

My son and I joined the line and as it grew closer to noon, the line grew longer.

The mission for this event was to join hands across the sand silently for fifteen minutes, 12 p.m. to 12:15 "draw[ing] a line in the sand and embrac[ing] a clean energy future." We held hands and even though none of us had signs or chanted anything, people asked, "Is this about the oil spill?" Strangers saw a line of strangers holding hands looking out into the Atlantic Ocean and knew: yes, this is about the spill and drilling and protecting the oceans. And more people joined the line. And then it looked like this:

And at 12:15, we all walked into the ocean together still holding hands.

No fliers, no banners, no bull horns, no singing. By 12:15, we were fifty or so strangers, most of whom didn't know this had been planned, who, as "Hand Across the Sand" founder Dave Rauschkolb says, "draw metaphorical and actual lines in the sand; human lines in the sand against the threat oil drilling poses to America’s coastal economies and marine environment."

What is Hands Across the Sand?


Hands Across the Sand is a movement made of people of all walks of life and crosses political affiliations. This movement is not about politics; it is about protection of our coastal economies, oceans, marine wildlife, and fishing industry. Let us share our knowledge, energies and passion for protecting all of the above from the devastating effects of oil drilling.


While Hands Across the Sand began in Florida just this past February (and before this most recent horrible oil spill), yesterday's event was international and co-sponsored by a long list of environmental and other activist group including MoveOn.org, Greenpeace and Clean Water Action.

And I was there wearing this T-shirt from We Add Up you can get by clicking through the sidebar. Ten dollars of your purchase of this limited edition BP Oil Spill T-shirt goes to the Gulf Restoration Network.

Boycotting BlogHer Because I Boycott Nestle

Not long after I first started using Twitter – which was about the same time I finally began this blog – there was a great deal of Tweeting about BlogHer '09. It sounded like the place everybody who was a female blogger wanted to be. There was controversy – something about "swag," excessive freebies that made people look and feel all cheap and whore-y. But I joined BlogHer, saw that I would never be able to get into the advertising network (it is full up for pretty much ever) and hoped I would get to the next BlogHer conference and learn those secrets people were swearing they learned in between getting all that controversial stuff.

In the autumn, tickets for BlogHer '10 went on sale and I did something I only do with music concerts and the ballet – bought a ticket as soon as I could. The conference is in New York City, a few hours by train from where I live so that made the decision easier. If there had been a plane ticket involved, I wouldn't have considered going. It is out of character for me to buy a ticket to a conference that has nothing to do with work, social justice, children or some combination of all three. As the conference was fewer and fewer months away, I was a bit worried buying the ticket was a bad idea. There was a "popular girls" feel to the world of BlogHer. I didn't use the site. Few bloggers I read were going to be there. Other blogger conferences happened without me and reports back seemed to be about products and selling stuff – not about activism or information or being a good writer. As I worried more and more that I had succumbed to that urge to join an "in crowd," I finally began to hear of bloggers whose work sorta had to do with mine going. A handful. I might be all right.

And then it happened. A blogger who had attended the #NestleFamily junket wrote a post drawing attention to BlogHer's announcement that Stouffer's, a Nestle brand, would be a conference sponsor.

I didn't blog about #NestleFamily. I wrote about it in the January/February 2010 Mothering magazine where I am Politics Editor and the most comprehensive on-line coverage of that incident can be found at PhD in Parenting here and at follow-up posts on that blog.

This is not a post about why I boycott Nestle but I do. It is not only its sale of infant formula in flagrant and infamous violation of the WHO Code. It is the combination of corporate conduct, including the use of child slaves to pick cocoa beans, that led to the boycott and my decision to participate in it. I am sure I get a Nestle product by accident now and then but I work pretty hard at keeping Nestle products out of my life. The roughest spot I have been in was speaking at a La Leche League conference recently. I was speaking in a few minutes in a ballroom so hot and humid rare flowers would have grown happily. For medical reasons, I must have a large supply of water at all times. You would be hard pressed to find me these days without my giant BPA-free water bottle (a great speaker gift- thank you UNC-Greensboro!) in my hand but I hadn't flown it out with me. I put the need for water in the speaking room in my contracts. I went to the fridge in the back of the room to grab some water bottles and there they were – Nestle water. I wasn't the first to see them. There was already a crowd of conference attendees grumbling about Nestle in the room. The conference organizer was at my side soon and then she was out the door to do something I don't even want to know about to the hotel employee responsible. But I needed to go on and I needed water. And I drank the Nestle water.

Yeah, that story sounds a bit much but it is true. So when I read that a Nestle brand was going to be one of the eighty or so sponsors of BlogHer '10, I knew I had a problem. There was some behind the scenes posting about who was going to do what and whether BlogHer might do something. I thought that perhaps even if Nestle was going to be at the conference, perhaps they could sponsor a particular event I could avoid, rather than the entire conference. Just my impression, but I don't think BlogHer organizers cared less. Conference sponsorship for BlogHer is a "show me the money" enterprise. And from the discussions about previous conferences – samples, products, brands, stuff, stuff, stuff – I should have known that before I bought my ticket.

A few bloggers who oppose Nestle corporate practices have written posts about why they are going to BlogHer anyway. They have been criticized and they have been supported and they have been mocked by people I criticized for going to #NestleFamily. And a handful of us – four by my count – are boycotting BlogHer. It's my decision. I made it. I'm proud of it. And I think it is sad so few people care. Someone even had the gall to criticize me for refusing to sell her my ticket.

So have at me people. What are you willing to do to stand up for what you believe is right? If you boycott Nestle, what do you do to avoid using its products? And, an important question to me, why do you think so few people are boycotting BlogHer?

Will “Gay Friendly” McDonald’s Ad Air in the U.S.?

It was a surprise to me to find that McDonald's has a history as a gay friendly company. According to Bnet.com:

McDonald’s has been building a reputation for tolerance for years. The company is a member of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and has supported Out & Equal Workplace Advocates, a national organization that helps build gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community in the workplace. Both those moves earned it boycott drives from right-wing groups.

Until McDonald's gets a gluten-free menu I can't eat there, but this kind of corporate conduct makes me more likely to consume a company's products. And perhaps some day extreme right-wing groups will learn that their boycotts are a reason I will see a film.

Now McDonald's is showing an advertisement in France that I love. Watch it and then I will explain why.

This ad is the subject of much controversy from both the right wing and queer press. Queerty.com has mocked the effort and comments there and elsewhere note the contrast between the cheerful boy and his being closeted with his dad. Would a teenage boy hiding his sexuality from his father be that happy about it? I doubt it. It is not a realistic scene.

But gay teens need to see themselves in commercials. The ad does strike me as sweet and does seem likely to make gay teens feel less alienated. The tag line "Come As You Are" sends a good message about welcoming diversity. Yeah, there is a sexual double entendre but perhaps it isn't there in French. The French corporate statement about the intent of the ad is implausible.


Nathalie Legarlantezec, brand director at McDonald's France, explains: "We wanted to take a look at how French society is today. We're very comfortable with the topic of homosexuality, there is obviously no problem with homosexuality in France today."

Seriously? Gay marriage isn't legal in France. But still, I like the ad. I know at least one gay teen who would see himself and feel good. Nice try McDonald's.

The story unfortunately can't end there. Bill O'Reilly did a segment on his show last night in which he implicitly compared gay people to Al Qaeda. Of course this nasty bit of commentary has created a backlash. Despite the controversy, the ad has gone viral on YouTube with over two million views as of now. But McDonald's is now on the spot. "Will McDonald's Dare Run its Gay TV Ad in the U.S.?" I hope it does.

Meanwhile, you can watch it here via Youtube. And you can show it to your kids so that diversity is normal to them. The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is demanding an apology from Bill O'Reilly and his network FOX and they should give it. The GLAAD "Call to Action" includes a list of advertisers if you want to exert more pressure. I don't watch Bill O'Reilly. I don't understand why anyone does. I hope this incident will make those who do reconsider why they do.

Now watch the ad again. It will make you feel good about what the world might be like in that place between where we are now and where we will be when teenagers can talk openly with their parents about being gay.

Goodbye Henry Granju

Henry Granju died yesterday evening. His mother, Katie Allison Granju, author of Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child has been blogging about Henry and the circumstances that led to his death at her blog, MamaPundit.

While I hope to write more about addiction, a condition from which even the most dedicated attachment parent may not be spared, today I want only to express deep sadness that a mother has lost her son.

Here is a video by South African musician Johnny Clegg called Osiyeza or The Crossing.